Spinning Hearts
by Kat Lee formerly Pirate Turner
Summary: Sometimes, hearts spin together no matter how hard we try to stop them. Slash. Could be considered a prequel to the author's Among Friends.


Title: "Spinning Hearts"  
Author: Kat Lee  
Rating: PG-13/T  
Summary: Sometimes, hearts spin together no matter how hard we try to stop them.  
Disclaimer: All recognizable characters, names, codenames, places, items, fandoms, titles, and etc. are always © & TM their respective owners, not the author, and are used without permission. Any and all original characters and everything else is © & TM the author and may not be reproduced in any way without the author's express, written permission. The author makes absolutely no profit off of this work of fan fiction, and no copyright infringement is intended.

He's a military man, trained to perfection to never show his true emotions and devote his whole being to his country and family and being the man both expect him to be. He's a Preacher's son, raised from a baby to never condemn another soul but to also believe that loving another man is not only wrong but one of the Devil's greatest sins. He's a best friend who never wants to bring any harm to his partner and would do anything and sacrifice everything to keep him from ever being hurt.

Yet, when Carlos looks at him in a certain way through those deep, dark, and sensual eyes of his, it's almost as though he's asking to be hurt. Trent knows what will happen if he ever caves in and answers the call in those loving eyes that haunt his dreams. They'll both be hurt. It could mean the ending of their friendship if they love each other for a short while and the romance stops. It could completely rip them apart and take them away from each other entirely.

Worse yet, it will open them up to the world. Trent's seen what happens when men love men. He's seen guys so desperate to be with each other that they crawled into a dumpster to hide while making love on a military base. He's seen good and strong soldiers, some of the best the military's had in his day or his dad's, be dismissed from the army without honor, their names destroyed, all the goodness they've done and the lives they've saved forgotten because they dared to be seen kissing another man, or even just made their sexual preferences known. Good men have been utterly destroyed simply for coming out of hiding, and the Devil's claimed far too many souls who were shut out from their Christian brothers and sisters because they were different.

Trent knows his father thought that gays were the Devil's spawn, but he can't believe he's wicked. He's done too much good, risked life and limb to save too many innocents, believes too deeply in God, and loves Jesus too much to be evil. He can quote the Bible word for word from Genesis through Revelation, but he can't stop the way he feels when Carlos looks at him and his hand touches his. He can't stop his dreams of being with him that come every night, no matter how nightmares follow or how many times he gets up and spends the rest of the night exercising.

He can't stop wanting the man he loves, but he also can't admit his feelings to him. He can't let him know he loves him as much as his eyes tell him constantly he loves him. He can't surrender to these feelings between them, no matter how grand or powerful even though he knows they're shared. He can't see Carlos be hurt, and even if he didn't hurt him, even if they continued to love each other forever more and that love proved to be as fabulous and never ending as he often thinks it would be, the world would hurt him.

He'd lose his friends and family. He'd be sneered and laughed at wherever they went. He'd lose all credibility as a police officer or even an investigator, be dismissed from the force, and never be able to get a decent job again. He'd lose everything they've fought to protect; his life would become a nightmare.

So Trent watches those eyes so full of love grow duller each day after every win when he doesn't make the move Carlos is dreaming of and aching for every night. He watches his smiles slowly begin to fade and his jokes start to lose their humor while always thinking he's doing what's best and telling himself he's protecting the man he loves, his very best friend in all the world, the only way he truly can. He tells himself he's saving Carlos while never realizing the truth: that he's dooming them both by shutting the door on the love with which they were born.

He lies to himself. He lies to Carlos. He denies the truth at every turn until Walker throws him too hard down onto the mat one Friday night after Trent's declined Carlos' offer to hang out and has been working out his frustrations by punching his oldest friend, a man to whom he's looked up ever since he was a child. Walker pins him to the mat, gazes down into his tormented eyes, and tells him simply, "You're screwing up."

"What?" Trent asks with no idea whatsoever to what Walker's referring.

"You're screwing up, Trent. You're wasting your life."

"We saved Dallas today!"

"You almost lost Carlos."

Trent shuts his eyes quickly against the tears that memory threatens to conjure, but Walker knows they're there. He knows he's hurting and so is Carlos and he's tired of seeing his friends in pain that they could prevent. When Trent's eyes reopen, they're hard once more and flashing up at Cordell with fury. "Every one of us has almost died at one time or another. It's part of what we do."

"Yeah, but you're losing him even now. Trent, you can't live if you spend your life denying your true self."

"What the Hell are you talking about?!"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about, and it's time you stopped running, boy. You love Carlos. He loves you. Grab a hold of him already!"

"I - " Trent looks away, cussing silently. Walker wasn't supposed to know. Nobody was. Even though he and Carlos have shared looks, touches, and this feeling all their lives, they've never talked about it. A part of him almost thought that, as long as they didn't talk about it, they could deny its existence, and yet here's Walker, blurting out to the world. Only the world's quiet. There's no hatred being directed toward them - not yet. Walker's voice and face are full of concern but hard with the facts Trent's been denying all these years.

Finally, he looks back to Walker, and the look on the blonde's face now reminds Walker of a hurting child. He gets up, reaches down, pulls Trent to his booted feet, and clasps his shoulder. "How'd you know?" Trent asks, finally finding his voice.

_Because you look at him the way I look at Trivette._ Walker smiles. "Because I know you. Now get going and do what you should have done years ago."

"But - "

Walker shakes his head. His hand cups Trent's shoulder in a comforting embrace. He smiles, and Trent doesn't notice, in that moment, that his warm smile doesn't touch his eyes. "The world doesn't have to know. As long as you both do, that's all that matters."

He doesn't say he won't tell the world. He doesn't have to. Trent already knows now that Walker won't condemn him. He may be the only one in all the world who won't, but he won't look at him with hatred or think him any less a man because of the person he chooses to love. Trent smiles finally, his mentor's words sinking in to his very soul, turns, and runs from the gym.

As he pulls up to Carlos' house, Walker's cell rings. He grabs the third punching bag he's been beating the stuffing out of and answers it. "Cordell."

"We've got a lead."

"I'm on my way," Walker returns, wishing he had the courage that he just gave his friend. His tires spin, and so does his heart, as he heads out on another mission with a friend who he'll never tell how much he means to him.

Meanwhile, elsewhere in Dallas, two other hearts are spinning, but they're spinning happily at long last as two young lovers embrace. Carlos greets Trent with a tight hug, not daring to hope for anything more, but his dream comes true when he closes the door behind them, shielding them from the world's prying eyes, and kisses him passionately. They don't speak. They don't have to for they've known the truth all these years. They've known it and run from it and hid it, never once daring to embrace and honor it, but now, at long last, they do. Now, they give action to the way they feel, giving each other the greatest of pleasures with their bodies and the purest joys from lips full of love while their friend, who finally gave them the miracle of a love opened battles his own heart for another long night of denied emotions; secret, powerful glances; hidden touches; and unspoken love.

**The End**


End file.
